Monthly Archive

Happy Halloween to all of you. And I got some great news today. I checked my cell phone for voice mail messages at lunch at work and there was a message from the manager at the apartment building I’m moving into telling me my rental application is approved, the new carpet is down, and when I called her back we agreed I’m picking up the keys on Saturday! Yay! I’m really looking forward to this. I will probably be moving my things the following weekend, and since I work full time most of my free time until then will be spent packing. But I will be visiting all of your blogs still.

I may be moving to a new apartment. Haven’t completely made up my mind but am leaning towards it. The new apartment is much closer to work. Right now I drive almost 25 miles to work. The new apartment is only three miles away. And it’s much brighter, with a full size sliding glass door looking over the yard. Right now I have just a window in my living room. There isn’t as much storage space as I have now, but as my wise sis and mom both put it, if I need to store it, do I really need it that badly? With some reorganization I could make the storage space I will have work. And the new apartment has a dishwasher! An automatic one instead of my two hands. And that’s my exciting news for the day… hope your day is going well.

So, I just finished my second week of orientation at my new job. While I still like it very much and am happy with my choice, I have to say that I am not a morning person and this getting up at 5am is killing me! I come home from work and I’m so tired all I want to do is eat something and get to sleep. (It doesn’t help that I work 12 hour shifts.) But I only have to do that for one more week, then I get back to a night shift schedule. As odd as it sounds to you morning people, I actually have more energy when I’m working nights. So I’ll have more energy to tell you funny stories… or bore you with drivel… lol

My cat and I have a new game we play. If I’m taking a bubble bath he comes and sits on the edge of the tub. I lift a handful of bubbles and let them drop off of my hand and he bats at them and knocks them off my hand. Silly, I know, but we enjoy it.

Speaking of cats (as I often do), that reminds me to share with you all something I heard recently. My neighbor across the hall is an older gentleman, in his 70s, at least. A very nice man. When I first moved in here about seven months ago I noticed a beautiful white cat often sitting in his window. Then a few months ago the cat seemed to just vanish. A few weeks ago my Sylvester ran out into the front hallway as this man was leaving his apartment and he petted Sylvester and told me what happened to his cat. Apparently a few months ago his apartment was broken into and he didn’t say if they peron/s who broke in took the cat or left the front door open and the cat got out and got lost, but when he came home after the break in, his cat was gone. He’d had the cat for 15 years, he told me. That just seemed so sad to me.

I think that’s about enough rambling for now. I’ll write more soon…

I’m going to preface this post with the statement that this post may get a little verbose and personal. So I won’t be offended if anyone doesn’t read it in it’s entirety.

October is breast cancer awareness month. As an oncology nurse and a person with a strong family history of cancers, and breast cancer in particular, you would think I would have already written a post on the topic. But it’s something heavy and serious and I wanted to make sure I knew what I wanted to say before I sat down to type this.

I have lost a grandmother and a cousin to breast cancer. Both were only in their 30s. I have an aunt who is a breast cancer survivor. And a grandfather and uncle both lost battles to different types of cancer. What made one of my past family doctors just stare at me for a minute is the fact these family members aren’t on just one side of the family tree. Some are on mom’s side, some are on dad’s. To say the least, cancer has touched my life personally.

And professionally. I’ve been a nurse for eight and a half years now and six and a half of those have been in oncology. I fell into oncology nursing not with any intention. I had been doing pediatric home care and loved the kids but needed to get some hospital experience. I went to work on busy medical floor at a local hospital. It was actually a medical/oncology floor. I quickly fell in love with oncology side of things.

Some people have asked me “How can you do that? Isn’t it depressing?” Well, sure, there are hard moments. But what keeps me doing it day after day and year after year is the fact I get to meet some of the bravest, strongest, most courageous people you could ever imagine in my work. I see these people going on this long and difficult journey through their diagnosis and treatment with grace and strength and I admire them.

I also learn from them. I have learned a few important lessons from my patients over the years. I have learned that no matter how important my petty little problems may seem, there are always people facing even bigger challenges. I have learned that life is precious. I mean, really learned what that means. It means you never know when your life is going to be totally and completely changed in a matter of seconds with just one word. I’ve learned not to take my health for granted. I don’t think my patients have any idea that they give to me every bit as much as I give to them.

Now if I may take just a moment to climb on my soapbox and do some quick teaching… Breast cancer, with early detection, is highly survivable. The survival rates for breast cancer caught early are very, very high. 98% of women diagnosed with stage 1 breast cancer are alive 5 yearslater. It is not a death sentence. That’s not to say women don’t still die as a result of breast cancer. They do. But when women use the early screening tools they have available to them, it can be caught early enough for treatment to be be very successful. Those early screening tools are a yearly mammogram and monthly breast self-exams. They may seem silly, you may feel silly doing them, but they do save lives. Please use them. And everyone, please support any programs in your area that help women without insurance pay for mammograms.

About three years ago now my uncle died of cancer. He was a sweet, caring, generous man. The morning after he lost his battle I was in a class at work that was to teach nurses new to oncology about giving chemotherapy. It was also required for me as a refresher course. I remember sitting in that class that morning and watching a video that talked about how a cancer diagnosis affects family members of the patient. I remember saying to my mom and my aunt Quilly both later that I didn’t need to see that video, I was living it. I also commented to both of them that I felt at that moment like my entire life was nothing but cancer, cancer, everywhere. I couldn’t get away from it. It’s a part of my personal life, and a huge part of my professional life. In six and a half years of working in oncology, that moment is the only time I’ve ever wanted to get away from it. I’ve had nurses say to me “With that family history, how can you do this?” My standard answer is “It’s because of that family history I do this.” Cancer has touched my life in so many ways that of course I love to be a part of helping people with their journey through their treatment. And I love to keep on top of new treatments and see how far we’re coming with getting cancers into longer and longer remissions. Nothing would make me happier than to be put out of a job because we’d found a way to eradicate cancer.

My auntie asked if my new job has me too exhausted to type. Actually, it’s been a great week but I have been really exhausted in the evenings. Having taken a four week hiatus from work, my first whole week back has worn me out.

But I am really liking my new job! The first four days of this week were spent in classes and kind of on the boring side. It was all information that the regulating body that accredits hospitals requires new employees to be given and there’s just not an easy way to make it interesting. But today was my first day on the floor actually caring for patients. I left work smiling and in a good mood. And not because it was an easy day… it was actually a pretty fast paced and busy day but I enjoyed it. The staff I was working with were all very friendly and truly cared about their patients. And every employee I’ve talked to from all the various departments of the hospital all seem to truly like their jobs. I’m quickly becoming convinced more and more I made the right choice.

And I learned something today. Teaching apparently runs in the family. As most of you know, one of my favorite aunties is a 5th grade teacher. There have also been several other teachers in the family. Teaching does seem to come naturally to me when I’m talking to my patients. I’ve always felt that but someone else noticed that today. The nurse I was working with and I discharged a patient together today. As we were talking to him about two new medications he was being sent home on she had me do the teaching about the medications, side effects, what they’re for, things like that. She said I was good at it. In one day of working together she noticed that. I warned her early in the day that I am incapable of being asked a question by a patient and not answering it, so if I started answering a patient’s question that she wanted to answer herself to just tell me to shut up. She laughed and said that was fine. I love it when patients ask me questions about their medications or treatments or diseases. I love to teach them.

I think that’s all the rambling for now. I ordered some lovely, delicious smelling hand made soaps from Serra and they arrived today. I can’t wait to go take a nice long bubble bath and use my new soap!

I’m still working on designing what will be a fun challenge… So here’s a new variation to try. I’m going to type a sentence having to do with medical terminology and there will be blanks in the sentence. Your mission, should you accept it, is to fill in the blanks with the funniest, most off the wall things you can think of. Please post your submissions in the comment section and if there are enough takers in a few days I’ll post a poll letting you vote for the funniest one. Sounds like a plan? So here we go… If a patient is alert and is oriented only to two things and not completely oriented to three (person, place, and time) I might chart “Patient a&o x2, to (blank) and (blank).”

And now for the 5×5 my auntie tagged me to do…

Five Minutes to yourself. How would you spend them ideally?
1. On the phone probably with family
2. Reading
3. Petting my brat-cat, Sylvester
4. Being thankful I’m not at work
5. Reading any one of my family member’s or friend’s blogs

Five Dollars to spend right now. How or where would you spend it?
1. Handel’s raspberry truffle ice cream cone (Can you say YUM?)
2. Book
3. Some great thrift store treasure
4. Another book
5. A new calendar to write down the birthdays of all my nieces and nephews

Five Items in your house you could part with right now?
1. The wilted lettuce in the refrigerator
2. The ugly floral print pants in my closet that I’m not sure why I ever bought and not sure why I haven’t gotten rid of them yet
3. The stack of old read newspapers I haven’t gotten around to discarding yet
4. The candles on the kitchen table (need to replace them)
5. The throw pillows on my sofa that always just seem to be in the way

Five Items in your house you absolutely, positively could never part with?
1. Sylvester the cat
2. My cell phone
3. My computer (until it needs to be replaced)
4. The new super soft and cozy robe I got at Old Navy this morning
5. My photographs

Five Words (or phrases) you love?
1. I love you
2. Loveyoubye (that’s how Cindra and I end phone conversations)
3. Hi Brookie (that’s how mom answers the phone when she sees it’s me calling)
4. God is great
5. It’s on sale

As you know, today was my first day of orientation at my new job. It’s a faith-based, Catholic owned and run hospital. The only faith-based hospital in the county it’s located in, actually. During my interview I was told there are morning and evening prayers said over the intercom every day. That impressed me. And then today I was simply amazed. In this age of political correctness, we actually started the day of orientation with a prayer and then listening to a hymn. (A beautiful hymn I’d not heard before I’ll try to find to share with you.) But then at the end of the day we ended with the group of us walking to the lovely hospital chapel together and having what was termed a “missioning service.” It consisted of us praying together and then each having our hands anointed with oil that had been blessed while an individual prayer was said and the same beautiful hymn was playing in the background. We were told it was the administration’s way of sending us on our “mission” to be part of the staff there and provide compassionate and holistic care to all of our patients. I was amazed that this was done in today’s culture of everyone being so politically correct and so careful not to offend anyone. As my mom pointed out, they could “get away” with this because it’s privately own, not publicly. But still. I’ve worked at another faith-based, Catholic run hospital where we did have a morning prayer over the intercom every morning but nothing close to what we did together today was ever done. This hospital doesn’t just talk the talk… they walk the walk.

As I was sitting in the chapel I had a strong sense of “coming home.” I felt, as I have since my interview there, that this is the job I was meant to have. This is the job I was guided towards. I haven’t had that strong a feeling that I’m doing exactly what I’m supposed to be doing with my life since the last two times I went to Guatemala. So it was a pretty great day!

**I couldn’t find an mp3 file or video, but I did find the lyrics.*

Holy Ground

When I walked through the doors I sensed his presence
And I knew this was a place where love abounds
For this is a temple
the God we love abides here
And we are standing in his presence
On holy ground
We are standing on holy ground
And I know there are angels all around
Let us praise, praise God now, praise him anyhow
For we are standing in his sweet presence
On holy ground
In his presence
I know there is joy beyond all measure
And at his feet sweet peace of mind can still be found
For when we have a need he is still the answer
Reach out and claim it
for we are standing
On holy ground
We are standing on holy ground
And I know there are angels all around
Let us praise, praise God now, praise him anyhow
For we are standing in his sweet presence
On holy ground

I’m going to try a different approach to this challenge to make it more fun for us all. I’m going to post a medical term and want you all to make up your own goofy definition and put it in the comment section. Then on Sunday I’m going to choose some finalists (number of finalists chosen to be determined by number of entries) and post a poll for you to vote on the funniest. So here we go… the word is phalanx.

And now I’m off to get a good nights rest before I start my first day of orientation at my new job tomorrow!

So, this challenge ended up being harder than I expected it to be. I apologize for that. There was a winner, though. My own clever aunt Quilly came up with the right answer last night.

Adjuvant

Ad·ju·vant n.
1) A pharmacological agent added to a drug to increase or aid its effect.
2) An immunological agent that increases the antigenic response.

Now wasn’t that fun? lol Or not. I do have an idea for a more fun challenge, though, that I’ll post shortly. It’s actually an idea my clever brother-in-law came up with and I added to. So, congratulations auntie!

Ok, so for this 2nd challenge it’s going to be fairly easy. The word I am looking for is eight letters. It completes the following sentence. “When a medication is added to a medication regime for the purpose of enhancing or assisting another medication it is considered (blank) therapy.” Please e-mail your answers to me using the e-mail link located to the right of this page under the About Me section. The deadline is 10pm EST on Thursday and I will post the correct answer then. So, have fun!

This story has been on my mind for the past few days. I’m not quite sure why, but thought I would share it. Some background I need to share first is that Christmas is always a very big deal at my mom’s house. It always has been. Mom raised three kids as a single mom and it always meant a lot to her to give us a nice, magical Christmas. But as we got older rarely did she surprise us with our gifts. She would ask us earlier what we wanted and that was always what we got, with a few smaller things we hadn’t asked for thrown in. Correct me if I’m wrong, mom, but I think it was her way of making sure Christmas was special, by making sure we got the gifts we asked for. And we just inherently knew what was too outrageous to ask for so what was asked for was always reasonable. Well, on this particular year I was in college, finished with my pre-requisite classes and actually going onto my nursing major classes in January and knew I was going to have even more papers to write for school. I commented to my sister, Cindra, that I would love to have a word processor for Christmas to make my papers easier to write. (At that time PCs were still pretty expensive for the average joe to have in his house.) But I knew at that time even word processors weren’t cheap, so I never expected to actually get it and asked mom for something else, something smaller, I forget now exactly what. And now on with the story…

The setting is Christmas morning 12 years ago, the whole family gathered in mom’s living room around the Christmas tree eating our traditional Christmas morning breakfast of oven omelet and croissants and taking our time opening presents one by one. My niece, CL, was 3 and was “playing Santa Claus” handing out presents. My nephew, R, was only six months old and spent most of the day sleeping. CL said to her Grandma, “Gramma, Auntie Brooke doesn’t have very many presents under the tree.” Grandma replied that auntie Brooke could just help R open his gifts since he was too small to be opening them himself. As everyone has opened a few presents and we’re all having a wonderful time mom suggests to CL that auntie Brooke help R open this large square box she’d told me earlier contained a rocking chair for him.

Not thinking much of the fact R isn’t even in the room, he’s sleeping in Grandma’s room, I begin to unwrap this gift. Within a moment or two it became apparent mom had finally been able to surprise me. The box was actually my new word processor! I couldn’t stop smiling and giggling with glee and surprise. I really couldn’t believe mom had splurged so much on one single present. I later found out after Cindra told her what I would really like to have she spoke with Cindra and our brother and they agreed it was fine with them if she did that for me. I was thrilled to know just how supportive my family was of my education. Their support was as much of a gift as the word processor. That word processor got me through the last 2 and a half years of college and countless papers. I treasured it and treasure the memory of that Christmas.

First, I finally got around to remembering to post the correct answer to the medical terminology challenge. The correct word was “micturate.” It is just a synonym for urinate. There was only one correct answer and it was from my mom. Way to go mom… but I realized after you answered it I knew you knew the answer… lol

Now, for the list of 7 songs… (got tagged by Cindra…)
1. My favorite hymn - Amazing Grace
2. My favorite piece of classical music - Tchaikovsky’s Nutcracker ballet
3. My favorite contemporary country music song - Findin’ a Good Man by Danielle Peck
4. My favorite classis country music song - Harper Valley PTA by Jeannie C. Riley
5. My favorite song to ask my sister to sing to me when we were kids - Actually a tie between Da Do Ron Ron (the Shaun Cassidy version) and Let me be There by Olivia Newton John
6. My favorite song for my mom to sing to me - Happy Birthday, of course! lol
7. Favorite TV theme song I know all the lyrics to - The Brady Bunch (And don’t laugh too much, Cindra, ’cause I happen to know you remember all the lyrics to it, too.)

Change isn’t always a negative thing. Some change can be good, positive. But that doesn’t make it any easier or less frightening. Over the past decade I’ve seemed to make a large change in my life every few years. None of them have been easy changes, all have been stressful, and all have been positive in the long run.

Just less than ten years ago I became a homeowner, got engaged, turned 30, graduated from college, started my first nursing job, and got married all in the space of five months. That started the cycle of change.

Two years into my first my first nursing job I felt it was time for a change professionally. I was working in pediatric home care and working with the same children night after night in their homes. While I loved the work and loved the kids, I felt like I was boxing myself in and needed more varied experiences. So I stretched my wings a bit and pushed back the fear that was almost choking me and made the move to a busy floor at a local hospital. It was indeed a great place to gain experience and I learned most of the skills I use at work daily now from that experience.

About a year after that I needed to make a difficult change personally and divorced my husband. I felt like a failure for a while and got depressed for a while and then was eventually able to move on and see that we both were happier in the end.

Moving on in my case meant moving 500 miles away from where I had lived for the better part of 20 years. This was a change personally and professionally as it meant making a new network of friends and also starting a new job. But I was living near my sister and her family, so that was a strong positive to the situation.

Then after about two years there it was time for another move which brought me 2600 miles away from my family. To say I was stretching my wings a bit is an understatement. But I proved something to myself with this move. I proved to myself I could pack up and drive myself across the country alone and start a new chapter of my life.

Each of these changes was scary. And each of them made me leave my comfort zone. Sure, in each case I could have stayed where I was and remained just “comfortable”. Or I could do what I did and take the more difficult road that did end up being the right one for me at the time in each case.

I guess the point I am leading to with this rambling is that change isn’t always easy… and the right thing to do is rarely the easiest. In fact, it’s usually the hardest. I don’t know right now what change will be next on the horizon. Well, I’m beginning a new job next Friday, but after that… I have no idea. I just know I will be prepared for it to be a little uncomfortable, a little difficult, and a little scary.

Happiness is… finding a steal of deal when you’re out shopping! Let me explain: I was shopping yesterday at a store that sells surplus and discontinued inventory from departments stores at discount prices. I love this store! I happened to find a great nice neutral tan colored blazer that fit perfectly. It’s a well known brand name and the tag on it said the manufacturer suggested retail price was $109. It was originally selling in this discount store for $24.99. Then marked to clearance for $12. And there was a sale going on where all clearance items were 50% off. So it ended up costing me only $6! What an awesome find.

And now for a serious piece…

A few years ago I was at work on night shift taking care of a patient who was actively dying. She had been admitted to the hospital for us to keep her from being in pain. She had no family except for a sister in Belgium. That sister and her husband had arrived from Belgium just that day and were at her bedside as I cared for her that night. Neither of them spoke English and I don’t speak French, so we communicated through sign language and body language as well as we could.

At one point towards the middle of the shift in the wee hours of the morning the patient’s sister came to get me. She motioned for me to come into the room and communicated to me that she thought her sister was towards her last moments. I entered the room, took the patient’s hand in mind as her sister stood across the bed from me holding her other hand, and within a few moments with both of us holding her hands, the patient did take her final breath.

A while later as phone calls were being made and paperwork was being filled out we did find another employee in the hospital who spoke fluent French who came to translate for us. With the help of this translator the patient’s sister said to me “Thank you. You didn’t leave her.” As she looked at me with tears in her eyes we hugged and I had tears in my eyes, as well. It was an emotional moment.

To me, that moment has always been an example of how we don’t always see our actions the same way others see them. This woman was thanking for me for doing something I hadn’t thought was all that special. I didn’t leave the room of a dying patient? That was her first thought when thanking me for doing my job? Well, of course I didn’t leave. The patient and her family needed me to be there. What was going on those few moments was precious and special and more important that any thing else I might need to do that entire shift. I truly didn’t see my actions as being anything special. It was just the right thing to do. But the patient’s sister did think it was something to be commented on and thankful for. I was the one who was honored to be a part of such a very sacred event in a person’s life.

I have recently quit a job I was at for only six months. I know that’s not very long to stay at a job. I didn’t make the decision to leave lightly. But I truly felt I had to leave. It was becoming an unhealthy situation for me. Staffing was beyond horrible and far into the realm of unsafe. This medical facility is for-profit and run very much as a money making business, as opposed to not-for-profit run hospitals. The money was never in the budget to pay for enough staff to care for the patients safely. I felt strongly that it was only a matter of time until something unfortunate happens to a patient because of the staff not being able to monitor them adequately and the hospital will be sued. I chose not to stick around to have my nursing license drug into that when it does happen. I did, of course, make efforts to improve the situation before I just left. And I ran out of options.

Now, the lesson I learned here was that it is important to follow your convictions and stand up for what you believe. Sure, I could have found some way to stay there and stick it out being miserable every day but knowing I was employed. And I would have spent every day compromising myself both professionally and personally. I was not able to give the quality of nursing care I know I am capable of in that environment. I thankfully had the support of my family and friends who all stood behind my decision to quit that job even before I had another job to go to. They knew what I was doing was for the right reasons.

After much prayer and stress and worry, I did get a new job at a not-for-profit hospital. I felt as I walked out of the interview that day that it was the job I was supposed to have. And it turned out that feeling was right. It did work out just the way it was supposed to. In the words of my Aunt Quilly, “God is great”.

Another lesson I learned is that I don’t particularly ever want to work at a for-profit hospital again. I know one should never say never, but it was a real eye opener how different working conditions are.

I did learn from the experience. And that makes the six months I spent at a job I was miserable at not wasted time at all. Any time you can learn something from an experience, no matter how hard of a lesson it is to learn, the time was not wasted.

Okay, so my sister and brother-in-law are both doing these very fun challenges on their blogs. Tonight my aunt Quilly suggested I do some kind of challenge/contest related to odd diseases or medical terms. I will try to stay away from anything too terribly “gross,” but feel free to ignore these posts if you’re easily grossed out. So, to start with I’m going to give you a sentence and you have to figure out the word. You will have until Friday at midnight EST and then I will post the answer and the winner. At this point the only prize will be public praise and attention. You can send your answers to me by e-mailing me. I have placed an “e mail me” link on the right side of the page just below the About Me section. Or you can use this link here .

On to the challenge… What is a nine letter word relating to the act of emptying the bladder?

Not much new today to talk about… Just relaxing and looking forward to starting my new job next week. The last song I shared with you all was a musician I came by my love for from my dad. This song I’m sharing today is definitely one I got my love for from my mom. I don’t remember this, of course, but she used to sing it to my sister and I as a lullabye. To this day it makes me think of mom. So this one’s for you, ma. And thanks Aunt Quilly for helping me find the video! This was the best of the choices.

My sister Cindra recently mentioned her love of Johnny Cash’s music on her blog. It’s a love I share; something I, too, got from dad. And since I read that post I’ve been humming my favorite song by the man in black. So I thought I would share my “earworm,” as my sis would call it.

Why oh why are there Christmas decorations in the stores a full month before Halloween even? I know this point has been belabored over and over so I won’t say much. It just makes the holiday so crass and commercial! I long for the days when I was a kid and Christmas decorations didn’t show up in the stores until the day after Thanskgiving… maybe the week before but certainly never in October! And the Christmas shows on tv were wholesome and taught about the magic of the season, the true reason behind the holiday. You know, the ones like the Peanuts gang holiday special and Frosty the Snowman. They weren’t just half hour or hour long commercials for whatever children’s toy is “in” this year. Ok, stepping off my soap box now.

I was thinking today about holidays spent with my family. I’ve been blessed to have many wonderful holiday memories. One of my favorite Thanksgiving memories was Thanksgiving spent at the beach. Really. It was wonderful! Two or three years ago now my sister and brother-in-law rented a house on the beach on the Oregon coast for the holiday weekend. The sun shone most of the weekend and it was a beautiful late fall weekend with temperatures in the 50s. I had a lovely walk on the beach with Grace, my sister’s family’s wonderful dog. And we had a great time visiting with everyone. We had quite a gathering of family there. And by family I mean those related by blood, by marriage, and those we call family by choice. It was a gathering of all of Tom and Cindra’s kids, myself, and a house full of assorted other eclectic, fun, and wonderful close friends. It was very laid back and relaxed. There was lots of laughter and joy and love in the house that holiday. After a delicious dinner we sat in the living room in front of the fireplace and guests sang and played guitar. We had such a good time! I truly treasure the memory of that Thanksgiving.