For a variety of reasons, I’ve been a bit introspective yesterday and today. That lead me to do some searching online for Turner Syndrome forums and message boards. The literally dozens of comments I came across from women with T.S. talking about never quite feeling like they fit in at school or with groups of coworkers amazed me. I never really felt like I fit in at school… always felt like I was just on the fringe of each clique or group of students. As an adult I’ve felt the same way at work with groups of coworkers. And I just chalked it up to a fairly normal dose of insecurity. But wait a minute… I have every reason to feel a bit different. I DO have something about me that makes me very different than most of the women in the world. I was diagnosed with Turner Syndrome at the age of 13. It only occurs in 1 in 2,000 to 2,500 females. In a nutshell, it’s a chromosomal abnormality that leaves a female with one of their two X chromosome either partially or completely missing. The hallmarks of it are short stature and infertility due to the lack of ovary development. There are also a whole host of other possible symptoms but I’ve been fairly lucky that the only one I have is some hearing loss. Well, that’s what I thought until today. Is it just possible that the feelings of not quite fitting in are part of the T.S.? Very possible, especially if the few dozen women I read comments from online today are any indication. And there have been many times when I’ve had a vague feeling someone just doesn’t really like me, but couldn’t quite put my finger on why I thought that. I couldn’t give any specific example of anything the person had done or said to make me feel that way. And do you know what I read today? On the website I read the following listed as a symptom of T.S.: “Difficulty in social situations, such as problems understanding other people’s emotions or reactions.” Wow. There could be an explanation for my feelings other than insecurity? Today is the first time in my life I’ve ever considered T.S. as being a cause of those feelings. It’s definitely an interesting … and refreshing… thing to consider. From the time of diagnosis at age 13 until my mid 20’s my life seemed to be all about the T.S. for the most part. Learning to accept what it meant to me, doctor’s appointments to try to get the hormone replacement therapy doses just right, doctor’s appointments to make sure my heart and kidneys were fine, and so on. But after that, for about the past 20 years, I’ve more or less ignored it. I’ve just accepted it is something I have and will have the rest of my life and there’s no changing it. Now I have 20 years more life experience and wisdom to use to go back and reassess what having this syndrome means to me.