So, it’s been 7 months now since my diagnosis. And boy, has my life changed. But for the better. Absolutely for the better. I’m healthier and stronger feeling than I’ve been in years. I’m down to a weight I haven’t been in eight years, at least. I can’t seem to stop bragging to my friends and family about my weight loss. I’ve lost 40 lbs and am only 2 lbs away from my BMI going down from the “obese” category to the “overweight” category. I do still have about 30 to 35 more lbs to lose, but since I’m already over halfway there the rest is all downhill from here. That does not mean I’m getting complacent at all. I’m eating better than ever and doing great with my regular exercise. In fact, this week I increased my number of workouts from 4 days to 5. I whine a bit (ok, a lot) and drag my feet about working out, but I’m always so glad when I do it… It just feels so good afterwards! Sure, my main reason for doing it is to make those insulin receptors more sensitive and help control my blood sugar. But the fact I’m losing a decent amount of weight while I’m at it is certainly a nice bonus. My blood sugars have been in great control and at my last doctor’s appointment she even let me cut back my oral diabetic med from twice a day to once. I’m feeling pretty confident right now about my health, my body, and my ability to stay on top of this disease. That doesn’t mean I’m going to get lazy about it. I know I need to work hard every minute of every day to stay on top of it. But I’m feeling like it is doable. I can do this! I may not want to, but I can. And it turns out that this nasty disease has actually been a blessing in disguise. Without it, who knows when I would have found the motivation I needed to make the lifestyle changes I needed to.
If it’s possible to have a perfect day, today has been one. In so many ways and on so many levels. Where to start? I went hiking this morning up a butte near my house. It’s about 2,500 feet high and really beautiful. A year .. and 35 lbs… ago I attempted this butte and made it halfway up before I had turn around and come back down because I was too short of breath to continue. Today I went 3/4 of the way up before I chickened out and turned around and came back down because the trail was too muddy. It’s a very steep trail. But 3/4 of the way up I wasn’t short of breath at all! What an improvement over a year ago. And then the sun continued to shine instead of the rain starting which had been forecasted. And I found some new sweats that are ridiculously soft and comfortable. And I’ve been eating good food choices all day … which has kept my blood sugar absolutely perfect all day long. This evening I’m going to hang out with my oldest niece. That should be a fabulous way to end a perfect day. I’m just feeling so happy and healthy today that I wanted to share that. :)
Diabetes sucks. That is a fact. I have diabetes. Also a fact. And lately that’s really been bothering me… frustrating me… making me mourn the days I could eat whatever I wanted whenever I wanted without having to give a single thought to my food consumption. Those days are gone… and ain’t never coming back. What is also a fact is that it is in my power how I choose to deal with this. I can choose to be in denial, eat poor food choices, and eventually (probably sooner rather than later) have to pay the price for that. But as a nurse, I’ve seen up close the price that not controlling your blood sugar costs. And that is one high price. I’m not willing to pay it. So, that only leaves doing the best I can to control my blood sugar. That is what I am choosing to do. It’s helping me to think of it in terms of it being my choice rather than something I’m being forced to do. Just ask my mom… I don’t particularly like being told what to do. :) Speaking of my mom, I had an interesting conversation with her the other morning that was probably more helpful than she realized. I was venting about not being able to eat whatever I want, whenever I want. She said “So, do it.” I replied something to the effect that that’s just not an option if I want to stay healthy. So she pointed out the only option left is to accept it. My mom really does have a way of getting to point. She wasn’t being cruel or unkind. She was helping me see I do have a choice. So I’m feeling a renewed motivation to make good food choices. This morning my fasting blood sugar was 95 (and that was after only 2 hours of sleep in the past 24 hours) and after I ate my healthy breakfast my blood sugar was only 101. So I was pleased about that. I’m back to feeling like I really can get the hang of this. It’s also helped to think of terms of nothing being completely verboten. I can still eat any thing I want. It’s the portion I need to change. I just need to fit it into my total carbs for the day. That’s helped me not feel so restricted. And I realized I need to give myself time. It’s been 5 months since my diagnosis. This is a lifelong disease. It’s ok to have up and down days… as long as I move on from the down days and learn from them. So that’s what I’m trying to do. Today is Easter and it’s fitting that I’m feeling this way today. Easter, to me, has always meant a time of renewal and fresh starts. I wish you all a blessed and Happy Easter and thank you for listening to my rambling, as always.