So, it’s been 7 months now since my diagnosis. And boy, has my life changed. But for the better. Absolutely for the better. I’m healthier and stronger feeling than I’ve been in years. I’m down to a weight I haven’t been in eight years, at least. I can’t seem to stop bragging to my friends and family about my weight loss. I’ve lost 40 lbs and am only 2 lbs away from my BMI going down from the “obese” category to the “overweight” category. I do still have about 30 to 35 more lbs to lose, but since I’m already over halfway there the rest is all downhill from here. That does not mean I’m getting complacent at all. I’m eating better than ever and doing great with my regular exercise. In fact, this week I increased my number of workouts from 4 days to 5. I whine a bit (ok, a lot) and drag my feet about working out, but I’m always so glad when I do it… It just feels so good afterwards! Sure, my main reason for doing it is to make those insulin receptors more sensitive and help control my blood sugar. But the fact I’m losing a decent amount of weight while I’m at it is certainly a nice bonus. My blood sugars have been in great control and at my last doctor’s appointment she even let me cut back my oral diabetic med from twice a day to once. I’m feeling pretty confident right now about my health, my body, and my ability to stay on top of this disease. That doesn’t mean I’m going to get lazy about it. I know I need to work hard every minute of every day to stay on top of it. But I’m feeling like it is doable. I can do this! I may not want to, but I can. And it turns out that this nasty disease has actually been a blessing in disguise. Without it, who knows when I would have found the motivation I needed to make the lifestyle changes I needed to.
Diabetes sucks. That is a fact. I have diabetes. Also a fact. And lately that’s really been bothering me… frustrating me… making me mourn the days I could eat whatever I wanted whenever I wanted without having to give a single thought to my food consumption. Those days are gone… and ain’t never coming back. What is also a fact is that it is in my power how I choose to deal with this. I can choose to be in denial, eat poor food choices, and eventually (probably sooner rather than later) have to pay the price for that. But as a nurse, I’ve seen up close the price that not controlling your blood sugar costs. And that is one high price. I’m not willing to pay it. So, that only leaves doing the best I can to control my blood sugar. That is what I am choosing to do. It’s helping me to think of it in terms of it being my choice rather than something I’m being forced to do. Just ask my mom… I don’t particularly like being told what to do. :) Speaking of my mom, I had an interesting conversation with her the other morning that was probably more helpful than she realized. I was venting about not being able to eat whatever I want, whenever I want. She said “So, do it.” I replied something to the effect that that’s just not an option if I want to stay healthy. So she pointed out the only option left is to accept it. My mom really does have a way of getting to point. She wasn’t being cruel or unkind. She was helping me see I do have a choice. So I’m feeling a renewed motivation to make good food choices. This morning my fasting blood sugar was 95 (and that was after only 2 hours of sleep in the past 24 hours) and after I ate my healthy breakfast my blood sugar was only 101. So I was pleased about that. I’m back to feeling like I really can get the hang of this. It’s also helped to think of terms of nothing being completely verboten. I can still eat any thing I want. It’s the portion I need to change. I just need to fit it into my total carbs for the day. That’s helped me not feel so restricted. And I realized I need to give myself time. It’s been 5 months since my diagnosis. This is a lifelong disease. It’s ok to have up and down days… as long as I move on from the down days and learn from them. So that’s what I’m trying to do. Today is Easter and it’s fitting that I’m feeling this way today. Easter, to me, has always meant a time of renewal and fresh starts. I wish you all a blessed and Happy Easter and thank you for listening to my rambling, as always.
So, several people at work who see me frequently have mentioned I really look like I’ve lost a lot of weight. Always nice to hear, of course. And a few weeks ago I did go buy some new scrubs for work in 2 sizes smaller than I was wearing. That felt amazing. I called my mom as I was walking out of the store and I was giggling in delight as I told her about it. The last time I weighed myself a few days ago I’m down 33 pounds since my initial diagnosis of diabetes on November 3rd… so in not quite 5 months. I’m only 4′ 10″ so that 33 pounds really does make a difference. I went through my closet this evening and realized that practically none of my clothes fit me anymore! Except for the scrubs I bought for work recently, all of my clothes are TOO BIG! It feels absolutely wonderful to see the weight loss in real terms. Since I see myself in the mirror every day, it’s hard to see it come off slowly. But now that it’s enough to notice and to have my clothes not fit, it feels terrific! I’m even considering having my picture re-taken for my name badge at work… I have about another 30 pounds to lose so I don’t want to go spend a lot of money on clothes that aren’t going to fit me in another 5 months or so. So I’m thinking over the next few days off work I will go make the rounds of second-hand stores in town. I expect to have to dig through a lot of stuff I would never wear but I should be able to find some great deals, too. This is fun! And it’s amazing how good I feel. My energy level is better than ever and I feel healthy and am sleeping well and just feel good. I like this feeling and plan to keep doing the right things to keep feeling this way. I’m feeling very motivated at the moment. :)
About a week ago I wrote a post regarding my weight loss plans and goals. I’d stepped on the scale for the first time in a while and the number I saw was dangerously close to a number I am just not ok with at all. So I made the decision it was time to get serious and make the weight loss happen. My goal was/is to start out with working out on my elliptical machine four days a week and increase the duration of workouts and number or days a week slowly. I made the four times last week and have two under my belt for this week so far. And I’ve been eating even better food choices, working hard at cutting out calorie empty snacks from the vending machine at work and not buying any potato chips at the grocery store that will just get eaten way too fast. And the payoff is… I’m down 3 lbs in the last week! (Weighing myself on the same scale, same time of day, same day of the week.) I’m always telling my patients at work we’ll take any progress in the right direction we can get. Now it’s time to apply that to my personal life and be happy with this step in the right direction. It’s only a small portion of what I have to get rid of, but it’s a start. So I’m happy. :)